General Jokes in English

General Jokes in English:

1. Hw do U occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up!

2. 2 men R fishing. A funeral march goes by. T 1st man places his h@ on his chest. 2nd man says ''Th@'s nice. 1st man says 'It's T least I cn do. We wr married for 25 years.'

3. Y did T farmer win a noBl prize? Bcoz he was out st&ing in his field!

4. Y did T jelly baby go 2 school? Bcoz it wanted 2 B a smarty.

5. Wht do U cll a dog with no legs? It doesn't m@ter wot U cll him, he ain't gonna cum.


6. For sale complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 74 volumes. Good condition. £1,000 ONO. No longer needed, got married, T wife knows eVthing!

7. I went 2 by sum camouflage trousers T oTr day But I cdnt find NE.


8. Why did they call it PMS? Mad cow disease was already taken! → Mary had a little lamb The doctor fainted!!!

9. Y did T cnnibal rush over 2 T cafeteria? He hrd children wr half price.

10. Y dnt lobsters shR? Bcoz Ty're shellfish.

11. I'm an alien I've transformed in2 Ur ph1 & as U're reading ths I'm having sex with Ur finger. I know U like it Bcoz I cn C U smiling!

12. T jogger who overslept found himself running... l@e.