Funny Christmas Quotes:
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1. That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. - Jerry Seinfeld
2. I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple. I'm not sure if this is funny or sad.
3. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'" - Dave Barry
4. Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody! - Ogden Nash; so few words, yet an absolute classic line in its wit.
5.Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live." - Dennis Miller; Dennis Miller, no matter how you feel about him, you had to at least chuckle at that one.
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1. A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.- Garrison Keillor
2. Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
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3. Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. - Phyllis Diller
4. Quote The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. - Jay Leno
5. Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out in the middle of nowhere and leave you for the dead? - Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation
2. I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple. I'm not sure if this is funny or sad.
3. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'" - Dave Barry
4. Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody! - Ogden Nash; so few words, yet an absolute classic line in its wit.
5.Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live." - Dennis Miller; Dennis Miller, no matter how you feel about him, you had to at least chuckle at that one.
2. Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
"
3. Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. - Phyllis Diller
4. Quote The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. - Jay Leno
5. Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out in the middle of nowhere and leave you for the dead? - Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation
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