Funny Quotes and Sayings About Life,Love

Funny Quotes and Sayings About Life
1. The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
George Carlin

2. And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln

3. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat
Lily Tomlin

4. Don’t look back, somebody might be gaining on you
Satchel Paige

5. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred
Woody Allen

6. Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

7. Don't let someone be a priority in your life when you are still an option in their life

8. No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it
George Carlin

9. Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, you’ll be right

Funny Quotes and Sayings About Love
1. "I detest 'love lyrics.' I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on 'love lyrics."
Frank Zappa

2. "You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap."
Dolly Parton

3. "I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of."
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

4. "A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did."
 Edgar Watson Howe

5. "I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's eighth husband on her wedding night: I know what I'm supposed to do...I just have to figure out a way to make it interesting."
 many attributions

6 ."No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying." -

7. "An old man who marries a young wife grows younger - but she grows older."
 folk saying

8.  "It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced."

9. "What female heart can despise gold?"
 Thomas Gray

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