Funny Quotes to Live by

Funny Quotes to Live by:

 1. Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Samuel Butler

2. Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard

3. The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
George Carlin

4. All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought.
Robert Brault

5. Life is painful, nasty and short... in my case it has only been painful and nasty.
Djuna Barnes

6. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Robert Bloch

7. If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.
Margaret Thatcher

8. I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby

9. Men occasionally stumble on the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
Sir Winston Churchill

10. In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
Joey Adams